SB Nation - Login for mobile commenting

Podium Cafe

Tuesday Fun: Tips for Women Cyclists

The lovely ladies over at The Hairpin found this list of tips for women cyclists. The list dates from 1895. Among the things a proper lady rider should avoid? Don't try on your brother's pants just to see how it feels. Also, bicycle face. Don't make bicycle face, young lady, or your face will freeze like that!

0 recs  |  40 comments

Comments

Don’t chew gum. Exercise your jaws in private.

Them dirty 19th century girls.

I know right?

That sounds impressively dirty.

I shall reread The Picture of Dorian Gray with a whole new perspective
My mother agreed with this one

she’d say unless you want to bond with the cows instead of frightening them away

Yes

It is rather uncivilised to (visibly) chew gum, is what I learned as well.

Don’t scream if you meet a cow. If she sees you first, she will run.

quite good advice

But what if she doesn't see you and you surprise her?
Yes!

Also, marmottes. Does this advice apply to marmottes? What about ’beccos?

A friend wants to know.

Marmottes are much more likely to scream at you :)

’beccos hide these days since the “incidents” a couple years back

And bears! What about bears!
Excellent question.

Really, what were they thinking failing to mention bears?

bears like to cycle

Are you sure those aren't dogs?
oops, saw the other thread first
Ha!

No probs. I didn’t see the other thread. Until like just now.

You know what I always tell you people about fanshots ;)

They are evil

and every time you put one up god kills a kitten. I have learned my lesson.

ha ha, right.
i thought about it

but the odds of my 75 words on the topic getting me in trouble were pretty good, so i figured i’d keep it short and my foot out of my mouth.

but we like you with your foot in your mouth ant1 ;)

just you know, chew in private and stuff.

anyway, thing is,

i just mentioned on the other thing that i actually follow most of these rules. Sound advice. (with a few exceptions)

You're telling me you've never put on

a garden party hat with your bloomers?

never while riding a bike!
Is a garden party hat like a floppy beach hat?

Because I have a floppy beach hat. But alas, no garden party hat. And definitely, no bloomers.

Don’t scratch a match on the seat of your bloomers.

Yeah, I hate it when chicks do this.

If I were to go back in time . . .

And so many women would say, “Wanna see my bloomers?”, I’d be fairly confused.

Don’t forget your toolbag

Is that what a husband/suitor was called in 1895? Cause I am occasionally called …oh, never mind.

Don't faint on the road?

I’d better not be riding near where [insert hot cyclist] lives.

insert hot cyclist?

You have such a filthy mouth on you, young lady!

Oh heck, I'll just shut up....shameface.
•Don’t emulate your brother’s attitude if he rides parallel with the ground

This puzzled me for a while. I thought they were talking about 19th century Euskies.

Me too, me too!
I think

they’re maybe worried about the disneyland zone if girls get all aero and stuff? Or, is it the, er, tool bags looking down the bloomers? Confusing this advice.

•Don’t refuse assistance up a hill

BAH! If any man offered me this I’d slap them. How insulting!

Don’t wear a garden party hat with bloomers.

If only Sui would heed this advice.

Wouldn't that rule encourage a hat only policy?

You must Login with your SB Nation account and be a member of Podium Cafe to post a comment.